Millennials talk about the high cost of dating

Dating talking about money, how do you know you’re on a date?

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Best if the first discussion happens before the relationship takes a turn for the serious—like moving in together, getting engaged or married, or cosigning a loan. Are you trying to help him with his debt as a girlfriend?

I understand that you just want options right now, but it's difficult to make a financial plan with someone who is an almost-partner. If yes, then money issues will not bring your relations to bankruptcy. We first met when I was just out of college, at which point I proclaimed I didn't want anything traditional marriage, house, kids in my life, just freedom and fun.

Are you both pleased with the amount of spending and saving? The financial stability is an acute problem for many couples, especially for the newlyweds. You and your spouse have to know where you stand, that's why you need a full disclosure of your incomes, investments, debts, bank statements to one another.

With plans to move in together and cosign a lease just a few months down the road, we figured this was a natural and important time to get into the nitty-gritty. This is the question many dating couples probably want answered, as towering student loan debt is a sobering reality for many. Going out on a couple dates a week can suck up a lot of money.

It's tough because I feel like conversations about the future should be fun and exciting, even if there's baggage we have to sort out. Is that too cynical?

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Make sure that you know how your spouse spends their money and vice versa. Ultimately, I'm not trying to make life decisions, I am trying to make sure I have the ability to make whatever decisions I want when I want to make them, so I'm talking about financial freedom. He wants to kill me when I bring it up. At this time you may not totally realize the spending habits of your spouse.

Are you willing to make a financial contribution to the partnership?

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Make sure that none of you is totally responsible for the financial burden. Choose the right time for your money conversation. Love don't cost a thing. Once it's done make plans for achieving them. Conversations about the future can be fun and exciting if it's pretty clear that two people really have a future together. Often the question comes down to whether going out once will be more worthwhile than putting a couple of gallons in the gas tank.

Right now, you're just a girlfriend with opinions.

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Then gradually you can warm up to: I was still dealing with the consequences of a late payment on my Banana Republic Card five years prior when I was younger and less vigilant. I am not questioning whether or not to be with him -- not at all -- and I'm sure we can get past this.